Age Six -- Am I A Boy or A Girl?

When Mom and I made the decision that I could live my life as Veronica, did we do so because I knew myself to be a girl?  At the age of six, was I a boy or a girl?

Let's skip ahead about ten years when I would be sixteen.  By this time in my lifem whether or not I am a boy or a girl is less about the clothes I wear and more about social relationships.  Now to a great extent when I say 'social' I  am of course talking about sex.  By this age, I have known for quite some time that if I am to be a boy, I will fuck girls.  If I am to be a girl, I will be fucked by boys.  However, I may yet be of the age where this directly impacts my life.  In other words, while I know as a girl I will someday be fucked, getting fucked is not yet a defining choice I make.

So to be consistent let's skip ahead another ten years.  Am I a man or am I a woman?  While it is overly simplistic and definitely politically incorrect, if I am a woman, I am getting fucked by men.  If I am a man, I am fucking women.

What does any of this have to do with the original questions posed by the six-year-old Glen or the six-year-old Veronica?  At the age of six, whether or not  I was a boy or a girl was largely a question of whether or not I could wear dresses or not.

Of course, being a girl was not simply about the dresses for me.  It was about the name Veronica.  It was about the way I liked boys.  It was about being a daughter instead of being a son.  It was about being 'pretty' and not 'handsome.'  It was about my preference for dolls over Tonka trucks.  However every child, myself included, learns through a socialization process.  We learn to conform to the expectations of others.

Once I began seeing myself as a girl, I began to fulfill the expectations of others by being more 'girl.'  Was this a conscious choice?  A deliberate decision?  Not at all.  I was too young to truly make a decision this momentous. I cannot recall a time in my childhood when I did not know more happiness as a girl than as a boy.

If  there was any decision made by me as I grew older, it was the decision to continue life as a girl and not become a boy.  This is an important distinction because as I grew older I will come to learn that there was much more to being a girl  than dolls and dresses, makeup and cute boys.

Imagine if you will the first time I learned that as a girl, one without the pussy that most girls had, boys who fucked me would be fucking my up the ass.  To say the least this was not the 'glamour' of being a girl.  Now while it was scary.  It was also exciting.  At the time I learned of anal sex, I already knew something about sex and knew that the way a boy and a girl had sex was not an option for me.

So while it was a bit scary and I may have even had considered it gross and disgusting, I suspect my feelings were not substantial different from a girl learning for the first time boys will want to put their dicks up their pussy.

The first time I heard the term 'cocksucker' it was slung as an insult -- not at me that time.  For quite some time I saw the label 'cocksucker' as derogatory.  Why would anyone -- boy or girl -- suck a man's cock.  Not only did I cum to love sucking dick, love being called a 'cocksucker,' I was happiest when sucking cock also meant swallowing his load.

So to return to the question -- Age six, am I a boy or a girl?, allow me  to suggest that it is a moot question.  At the age of six I was still a child.  All I really wanted out of life was to have my way and at the time 'having it my way' meant being a girl, being able to wear dresses.  As I grew older, as I learned more about what it truly meant to be a girl, what it would truly mean to be a woman, I did not disavow my 'girlness.'  I did not decide to become a boy again.  I was content as a girl and I came to appreciate that being a girl is much more than simply wearing a dress.  In fact,  that is not even the best part about being a girl.