I Become Veronica

Within a few months of our move to Spokane, Washington, I had become totally and completely Veronica. I am not speaking here of how I saw myself and how I saw the world, I am speaking of how the world saw me.

While Mom and I have been enjoying Veronica Time for quite sometime while living in Rosalia, in Rosalia I still lived in two worlds.  On school days I would have to dress as a boy.  When Daddy was home I had to dress as a boy.  When friends were coming over to visit I had to often go to my room and change, which was often the case when Mom had to run to the store.  When one considers all of the time I could not be Veronica, it is almost surprising that I was able to spend any time at all as Veronica.

Once we were in Spokane, everything changed.  The decision had been made that Mom would home school me so I never had to dress for school as a boy.  While I had loved my father and I missed him dearly, he totally disapproved of Mom dressing me as a girl and as such he totally disapproved of Veronica, which to my mind meant he disapproved of me.  One day I was talking to Mom about Dad and how much I missed him.  She replied, "Well everything happens for a reason."  And then changing the subject she said, "Now step back I want to see how pretty you look in your new purple dress."

While Mom still had some friends from Rosalia, they mostly spoke on the phone.  Her closest friends, the one who came to Spokane to visit and who welcomed us in their homes when we visited Rosalia, came to know Veronica.  Not uncommonly Mom would come to understand that one of her old friends disapproved of our choices and their friendship would become a thing of the past.  Mom and I made new friends and the new friends knew nothing of Glen.

Whenever we went out shopping or to our favorite restaurants, I was Veronica to those who recognize us.  As I have mentioned elsewhere, as a result of the death of both Grandpapa and Dad, Mom no longer had to count her pennies.  When we went out to the best clothing stores in Spokane to buy clothes for neither herself or me, the best salespeople made a point of being just ass happy to see Veronica as they were to seee Mom.

This was possibly most relevant to this blog when it comes to boys.  Aaron was the son of one of Mom's new friends and for our first Halloween in Spokane I dressed up as a princess and he dressed up as a fireman.  We posed together before a party Mom's friend was hosting.  He did not make fun of me for dressing up as a girl for Halloween.  To him I was a girl dressed as a princess.  And at the party later that is how I was seen by all the other children andtheir parents.

Were there ever adults who saw too much boy in my Mom's litte girl?  If so, it was not something that they shared with Mom.  What friend or even most casual acquaintance would ever suggest to a Mom that her little girl looks a lot like a boy in a dress.  That would have been rude.  In Rosalia, most of the  townspeople would have been shocked to see Mom walking out on a walk with a little girl.  The same came to be true of Spokane, simply in reverse.  In time, those who came to know Mom and I  would all know us as mother and daughter.

Now I am not saying that Mom and I did not have to  make adjustments as I grew older.  For instance many parents felt that Mom allowed me to wear too much makeup for my age.  But it would become increasingly difficult as months and years of knowing Veronica to even suspect that she might actually be a boy.

After all could a boy truly be this pretty?  And could a boy come home from pageant after pageant with sashes and crowns?  Would a boy have photo albums filled with pictures of himself in gowns and dresses and swimsuits modeling for judges.

With out questin I had become Veronica.